It has been a while since I've written. So I'll give a small update; Just before I was supposed to go to the Las Vegas Kung Fu Tournament I fell ill. With my dad testing asymptomatic positive with Covid we were nervous I had the same but with symptoms. A week went by with two Covid tests. Both were negative, I just had a really bad cold or flu... still not sure what it was. A week without work followed by a week still sick working was rough on my body. This "sick time" made me rethink my current training set up. I'm guessing the manual labor of my job plus the 3 hours of training I was doing a day was just killing my body. It was a schedule that had little sleep and even less relax/rest time. Now, I'm just going to American Top Team Savage 2-3 times a week (still for 3 hours at a time). The other days are spent sleeping, eating, and studying either personal training or Chinese. I've also began meditating just a tiny bit when I get home from work to help my mind. These small changes have been going on for two weeks. These two weeks have been great, even though I'm working 7 days a week. Giving myself adequate time to rest and study while still getting the training I need lets me work more! If I can work more, I can save more money. If I can save more money, I can do more when my next journey begins. But, for now I'm out of paid time off (PTO) and my job needs me. During these weeks I was also able to reach a "milestone" in my budgeting. I was able to make my first investments. After that, I plan on opening a savings account with my second "chunk of change". And honestly, I couldn't have done it without my parents allowing me to just work, train, work, train. Thankful everyday.

A hard day of OT. Burning Sinuses. Cold. Sick for days. So, there has been a change in plans. Originally I was supposed to head to Vegas for the ICMAC tournament but ever since Friday I've been feeling like garbage. So I quarantined inside my room to see if I had symptoms of Covid. Monday came, I had a cough, sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, body aches, and just general tiredness. My throat was so destroyed that i couldn't eat. It was decided I had to go for another Covid test. A day of exhaustion went by. The test came back negative but I still felt like garbage. Low energy. Dizzy. Rough Coughing. My job has been nice and hasn't gotten mad at me for not going to work. They told me to get better then come back, which is nice compared to my previous jobs. It is crazy to think 4, almost 5, days have gone by due to this "Cold". Meaning I've had a lot of time to think about how I had gotten here. Something in my "balance" is out of wack. I think it is I work too much. Not only at my job but at the gym too. Putting almost 100 hours of work in every two weeks on top of 2-3 hours of training a day is tough. This means I'm sacrificing the greatest medicine ever, sleep. Just like in my personal training classes, they said sickness or injury is a sign something isn't right. Nutrition, Recovery, Rest, or Technique might be off. For me, the first three are what is off. I've neglected Qi Gong, Meditation, and study for a while now. I think its time to add that back in the mix. Pushing myself too hard, who would've thought? I'm just glad I have the energy to write a post today. Hope your day is better than mine.

Delayed Flight. Tired Eyes. Money Spent. Weekend Gone. It has been an interesting weekend full of sleeping and Kung Fu. My body got to rest and my mind got to wander. After I did my two events, I was happy to be bringing home Gold from the beginner division. I was complimented many times on my Dharma Sword form; which felt nice because Master Bao said I needed to practice it a lot more. Now, I have to prepare for the next tournament which is the ICMAC tournament in Las Vegas. I'll have to contact them and see if I can compete in the intermediate division instead of the beginner division. It seems my hard work is paying off, now I only have a week to refine my forms. There is one more tournament I might go to (if I have the money) and that is the Northwest Wushu Tournament in Seattle. There, I would like to perform my Da Hong Quan, Mei Hua Dan Dao, Da Mo Jian, and Shaolin Jing Sai Spear. It would be neat to see how I do but... I would have a lot to practice then! Even though I only competed in the beginner division, I think this further solidifies what Master Peng said to me: I can teach basics because my stances are good. After all that, the trouble is now trying to get home! Hope you're having a good start to your week.

Chemical burns. Short flights. Hair cut. Good rest. After leaving work in a dash. Landing to North Carolina groggy. I've finally made it to Maryland. The first thing that came across my mind was, What is different? It is certainly warm here and the landscape is beautiful. Loads of greenery topping small rolling hills. I know I missed most of the day but I managed to film some small shots and even practice my form. I fell asleep early on Friday (missing the showing of The Paper Tigers) but woke up feeling productive. I've already edited the first half of my video, made some changes to the site, and look! I'm writing a blog post. Now that I'm here and I'm actually getting close to competing, my mindset is different. There is a little nervousness but I realize how much work I've been putting off, not just my Kung Fu training. The website, my CPT studies, my Mandarin, and parts of my training. Qi Gong. Stretching. Meditation. I'm not going to start that here as right now I need to focus on the tournament but it will be a priority when I get back to Minnesota. I'd like to thank JD for the photos he found of us all practicing "Yoga" at the academy. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Dark eyes. Sore and tired body. Quiet mind. While working some one told me, "Don't waste your years man, these are your prime years." Honestly, that made me think for a second. Am I wasting my time by working and training so much. My parents even commented that all I do is work and sleep. I'm having fun and feel good living this way, even though it is an exhausting way of living. This exhaustion comes not just from working hard, but not having a direction. Like a feather in the wind, my destination just floats around my mind. The constant wondering of where I will go and when it will happen haunts my mind. Even though I have a plan of what I want to do (and how to get there), it still isn't set in stone. Something could easily come along to change my plan. Kung Fu is still my main focus. Although, now I put more time into my job (45 hrs a week) and training MMA/BJJ (6-10 hrs a week). Which brings me to my tournament. I don't expect to win but I want to. Watching all the videos that I've taken has given me a good idea on what I need to improve. That is what the tournament is helping me do, focus on all the small details I need to improve. Without this tournament, I wouldn't be as focused as I am now on making everything perfect. I've even seen improvements in my kicks! Two weeks left. Many things on my mind. Hope you're having a good day.

Work Train Eat Sleep Repeat Managing this schedule of third shift working and training has been easy but hard on my body. I work from 9 pm to 5:30 am, go home to wash and eat, sleep for 1-2 hours, then train for 2-3 hours, wash and eat, and finally sleep for 6 hours. I've been training 5-6 days per week. Feeling good but feeling tired. Alternating between BJJ/MMA classes and Kung Fu training has really been challenging my body. Everyone around me can tell I'm happier. The morning classes at this martial arts gym are meant for beginners but it is still a good place for me to train to keep sharp. I'd like to be able to join their advanced classes or join their competition team. That will take time though, so for now I'm just keeping my body conditioned. Hope you all are doing well.

Work. New Gym. Swap Meet. Rough Sleep. Lots of Money Spent. I have only gone to one competition when I did Judo in high school. I waited so long just to lose in 12 seconds. In China I did three performances but those were not competitions, just a chance to let other's see how our school was doing. Now, I've signed up for two tournaments to test what I've learned in China. I'll be performing Da Hong Quan Er Lu, Shaolin Competition Spear, and Da Mo Jian. I have 7 weeks to prepare for the first tournament and then I have two weeks after that to practice for the next one. I'm booking flights, buying gear, and thinking about how to prepare for a tournament. On top of all of that, I have found a new gym to start training BJJ and Muay Thai at. They have morning classes, kettlebell training, and it suits my third shift schedule. It is just more money that I have to spend so my wallet is hurting. I still need to save for China but I also need to enjoy my time at home. If I can improve myself a lot while in the states, then maybe I won't have to go to China too long. I'm finally competing, let's see how we do!

"Human beings are subject to desires and cravings, but even when we are able to satisfy these desires, the satisfaction is only temporary. Pleasure does not last; or if it does, it becomes monotonous." -First Noble Truth "Dukkha is commonly translated as suffering, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, or stress." -Wikipedia Bordem. Work. Sleep. Tired. Wanting. Sometimes it is hard for me to just enjoy my time at home. I feel pulled by many things, some days I want my girlfriend (but she is in Shanghai), other days I want to go to the Kung Fu School (but I don't have money), while other days I just want to train. There is no reason for me to be melancholy but I feel it due to the fact that I'm unsure about where to go from here. Now that I have a job that I have to stay at for a while, what else should I fill my time with? That is where Thinking Body, Dancing Mind has been helping me. Today, it talked about centering yourself which is exactly what I need to do. Every small thing has been able to throw me off center, which throws me to the wolves. I know what a good day feels like to me, I just need to "center" and get back to that. Short and simple. Hope you're having a good week.

"It is of great importance to achieve an inner peace which will allow you to act in harmony with the times... Hold your thoughts to the present... Actions that spring from this attitude will be appropriate." (Thinking Body, Dancing Mind, p.61) I Ching No. 52 Cold Showers. Reading. Exercise. Work. My life. I've been changing a lot about my schedule because of the new job and a "refocus" on my goals. This new job seems to suit me more than the previous job, more professional, safer, better pay, but it is still night shift. One thing helping me make these positive changes is the book "Thinking body, Dancing Mind" written by Jerry Lynch. I'm simply reading a chapter after work then falling asleep as I ponder on what I just read. Through a week of reading I've learned how: to visualize to use affirmations effectively (something I'm a skeptic of) to build beliefs to think positively to relax to have a clear vision how to focus better at what I do A lot of this was taught to us by Master Ning at Maling Kung Fu School so it is a nice to have a reminder. Pairing these mental exercises with the physical exercise is what I've been missing in my balance lately. Feeling better but change is taking a lot of effort.

Now that the hernia is almost healed, my regular routine is back in action. I'm working out, I'm working, and I'm happier. Even though I've started getting back into things, I feel like I'm starting from zero again. My strength still isn't back to 100% yet and while practicing forms there is a disconnect between my body and mind. Usually, my mind knows what to do but my body is slow or my body knows what to do but my mind is still thinking of the previous move. This injury also made me reevaluate the kind of training that I'm doing. Now, I'm dedicating time to strengthening my knee and groin muscles. In the process of strengthening my groin muscles, I've realized I have little control of my hip and a weaker lower back. Basically, my whole lower half needs to be not only strengthened but also stretched so that my flexibility can improve. Instead of making a normal strength plan, what I've done is made various workouts based on "skills" I want to achieve, like the planche, splits, pistol squat, dragon squat, pancake, V Sit and more. This has allowed me very different workouts each day while still working different muscle groups each time. Within these plans I have two things that I am working on consistantly: knee rehab and groin rehab. (Also flexibility but thats a given) I start my new job tonight so it will be interesting to see how next week goes. Hope you all are doing well. Johnny

The weather has been beautiful recently. My hernia is healing. And I'm beginning to get rid of my old belongings. I guess spring cleaning really is a thing. During this slow week of work I had a lot of time to think about what I want to do to help speed up my process of going back to China. One small project I have going on is going through my old things then, either tossing them in the garbage or putting them on eBay to sell. Most things are going into the garbage. I am giving old clothes to Goodwill... and there are a lot. It has been really easy for me to get rid a lot because I hadn't seen it in a year so, what was the point in keeping it? Plus, my future plans are to travel. I cannot be lugging around loads of junk with me so I have to develop a more minimalist life style. Man, do I hate using that term. That term now has a bunch of "luggage" with it but it is the most fitting term for this belief. I'm trying to hold on to what I need and a little bit of what I want. Getting rid of old items also will be easier on my parents (who kindly have been storing my stuff in their garage). My goal is to leave as few things as possible so to not burden them if they have to move or want to do something with the garage. On top of cleaning, I've started doing research into an idea I had at work. What if, after I'm done training Kung Fu in China, I try to join a college Wushu team? Maybe I could get a scholarship? It's a possibility. Maybe I could test out of some HSK levels and get a scholarship through my language knowledge? While in college I could study Kinesiology and Philosophy but even as I study, I know the main goal is to open up my own martial art school. Developing minimalism. Going with the highs and lows. Healing. That's my week. Johnny

Zoltar didn't give me a fortune. The Chinese fortune cookies didn't give me anything. A couple of odd occurrences that has lead me to think about what does it mean to have, "No Future". On Mother's Day my family and I went to Minnesota's Largest Candy Factory. It was fun, I picked out some of my favorite candies like Gummy Smurfs, Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, Gin Gins, and some Ginger Ale. What I was happy to see was a Zoltar Machine which I've had many happy experiences with. If you don't know what a Zoltar Machine is, its a fortune telling machine that gives you a little card describing you. For me, it usually is pretty accurate which is "magical" to me. On that day though, Zoltar told me this: "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. Live your days as if they are your last, because one day they will be!" My hand reached out for the card that should've came but one didn't. Of course, I thought maybe the machine was out of cards but my mom had her fortune read an out popped a card! As I thought more about it, the Chinese food we ordered previously came with little fortune cookies and I remember both times the fortune cookies didn't give me any little note. When I recalled this my dad laughed and asked, "Are you real? Or are you still in Maling meditating?". On the surface it would seem that I have no future. Having no future doesn't mean its all hopeless and bleak. It just means that I get to control where I go in life. I get to steer this boat in the direction that I want. It all lines up with how I've been feeling recently, which is good. A new job, my injury is healing (slowly), continuing my studies, and just a general positive feeling. To extend on my philosophy of "highs and lows", this is just a "high" coming from my few weeks of being "low" because of my injury and boring job. Cherishing this current feeling is important because I don't know how long this will last. I'm feeling motivated. I'm feeling good. Hope you're doing well.