Fall is here.
With the usual weekend talks that I have with my family, I am reflecting a lot on what I want to do. This crazy plan and dream is what drove me to start the blog in the first place. These past two years have flown by so quickly. I feel as though I missed a whole year of my life due to working third shift at the factory last year. This feeling combined with some decisions I made at the start of this year led me to travel a lot more. Germany, Maryland, California, Wisconsin and soon Arizona.
Challenging myself is always forefront in my brain. Whether it is working for some impossible goal, diving into a new sport, or just pushing what I think is possible for myself. In this process of trying new things, exploring new languages, and traveling; I've lost my focus. All of these things have made me realize what I truly enjoy doing. Kung Fu. Through experience I now understand more about what Kung Fu is and isn't. As I understand this, I still want to pursue it.
Focus... on the Plan
Life has given me a few options to pursue. Although I'll know more clearly what path I'm going to take in the next coming months there is one thing that is for certain. My time at this QA job is ending. This job isn't bad. The pay is good. Hours are good. The management has been very flexible with me as well. It was hard work getting to this easy QA job. I'm done... for now. My next focus point is the BJJ camp in November followed by a fight in December.
The plan is to pursue this dream anyway I can. Let this year end and see what happens. There are many opportunities out there that I want to pursue. Places to see. Experiences to see. Knowledge to learn. I guess you could call this drive, but this feeling never lets me be content with where I am or what I'm doing.
I don't know what to do about it.
“At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished… It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.”
When I decided to take action instead of just idly waiting, it felt like a load was taken off of my shoulders. My job became more bearable, I went to class more, and spent more time with family. A simple change in my mindset let me enjoy my life more. Sometimes, I wonder if forgetting this whole plan wouldn't make life a lot more easier.
If I just changed my perspective of the now, I'd be a lot happier. A lot more content with the way things were. Yet I struggle with that idea as I don't think content is happy. It feels too much like giving up, like settling.
Here I thought writing my thoughts out would make things clearer.