"The five hindrances are desire, anger, stupor and sleep, restlessness and worry, and doubt. These all hinder the development of wholesomeness and the practice of meditation and wisdom."
-The Way to Buddhahood, pg 160
It is crazy to think that at before Maling I was 71 kg (158 lbs), then at Maling I was 64-65 kg (140-145 lbs). Now, I'm 75 kg (165 lbs) and it does feel different. I'm not as fast or as agile but I definitely am getting stronger. The reason I'm doing this comparison early is because after my workout today I felt pretty good. Training at the MMA gym yesterday left me in a bad mood but training on my own left me feeling great. I'm low on sleep, hungry as ever, but was still able to get a good training session in the morning.
Motivation is a fickle thing, but all of the difficult reading, working, and training that I'm doing keeps me disciplined to keep going even when I hate it. I may hate my job and hate the gym that I'm at now, but my disciplined mind keeps me working towards some sort of progress.
"If one investigates and ponders an object that one perceives, one is practicing contemplation; if one focuses on the object and collects the mind, concentrating on staying on the object, then one is practicing meditation... To overcome the two primary obstacles of meditation - desire and scatteredness- and to build the right concentration, the two methods described above [contemplation of human impurity and controlled breathing] are definitely effective and safe."
-The Way to Buddhahood, pg. 162
Reading and Rediscovering
I can't even explain what I've been reading in "The Way to Buddhahood" as I don't understand what I'm reading. Lots of talk about understanding dependent origination and cause and effect. I don't know, it's all a little confusing. I did pick up a new copy of the Dao De Jing and "Living Buddha, Living Christ" which is what I plan on reading after "The Way to Buddhahood".
Not only has my reading continued, but I am reviewing the ol' rope dart again. I thought it was time to dust off the weapon that has been hanging on my door since I returned from China. Needless to say, my mind forgot the moves but my body did not. I even learned a couple new moves off of a video that I watched.
I'm exhausted but happy. Also, I have a tournament this weekend!
Tired but blessed.