Sleepless Nights, Pu'er Tea
"I am thankful for all of the opportunities that I have been given."
-21 Day Personal Journey
Pu'Er Tea to Calm the Mind and Heal the Metal
Writing a blog really is thankless work. Most don't even read blogs anymore, let alone read every sentence written. In the years that I've spent developing my own format for articles, it has become my place to unwind. The professionals will say to write for an audience or to tailor your writing to potential customers. Forget all of that; that isn't why I write. My fingers tap away at what ever cheap laptop I currently own just to help me realize that my problems are as small as gnats flying in the air. Small, insignificant, and easily done away with. Yet, still annoying if you let them be.
Jesus said do not kill and Buddha said to not harm any living being. The best way to get away from the gnats is to move yourself. In this case, moving myself would be changing my mindset about this current situation.
What situation am I referring to?
This year of the Tiger. It has been a pretty reckless and almost selfish year for me. A trip to Germany followed by a tournament in Maryland. Then some weeks go by before I go to California and a BJJ seminar in good ol' Minnesota. Now, as the year gets colder I'm planning on going to Arizona... twice. For a camp and a tournament that I'm not prepared for. Sprinkle in a few visits to my sister's and a couple of injuries within all of that.
Yet for some reason, as I lay my head down in bed and the darkness of the night sets in. My mind is... not satisfied. I wake up not satisfied and I go to bed not satisfied with my actions, situation, decisions. It drives me crazy. This feeling has led me to quit my job (in February) and pursue the thing that I actually want to pursue. Kung Fu.
The Journey to Good Kung Fu
Kung Fu. When I think of Kung Fu it no longer is just the martial art that you see on TV, stages, and movies. It really is something "magical" to me. When I came back from China, I continued my Kung Fu training pretty intensly. Training 3 hours a day while working a third shift job. Eventually, I joined the MMA gym that I currently train at and they were surprised with how "fit" I was.
I honestly believe if Maling had a better diet and that we sparred more, our "Kung Fu" would have been more complete.
The combination of meditation, "slow training" (stretching, tai ji, qi gong), and fast training (power training, Sanda, forms, weapons) made my body into something pretty... cool. For lack of a better term.
Which brings me to my picture above. I want this feeling of being calm amongst the clouds again.
The reason I run while sick.
The reason I lift weights late in the night.
The reason I compete even though I'm nervous each time.
The reason why I stretch, kick, and spar through pain.
Is because I think through all of these challenges, I can find my "Kung Fu".
For me, Kung Fu is a way you carry yourself. It is something you discover within you. Throughout this year, I've seen glimpses that I still have it under all of the doubts, worries, fears, and pressure of the "real world".