August 6th - Blood Shot Eyes

Unfocused Week

Unfocused. That is how I would describe this week. I've been taking a break from training which has left my mind to do something I haven't done in quite some time; think. Not working out as much has left all of this energy in me which has sent my mind into overload. Instead of being productive with my new amount of free time I've squandered it worrying about small issues.

Money. Going Home. Training. Testing. Future Plans. Injury.

I can tell that I haven't made the most of the past few days. The only things that I have done well are waking up earlier than usual and studying a little bit of Buddhism, Taoism, and Christianity here and there. I've even gotten some rope dart training in!

So what have I been doing instead of class?

Master's Wisdom

Most of the time I watch class to see what I am missing and to study how to teach people. If I want to be a martial arts teacher in the future then I ought to see how it is taught. Master Peng and I have had some good conversations because of this.

“一碗水很难公平, A bowl of water is rarely even"

We've talked about simple things like how to help people with flips, jumps, and more but we've also talked more about martial art culture, what to look for in students, learning from history, and finding your purpose through martial arts. There is a lot that I still have to learn about teaching as it sounds like it'll be tough. Master Peng has also put an emphasis on me thinking for myself first and then asking a question if I can't think of anything.

”习武,先习德。In order to practice martial arts, one must study virtues"

Even with me being unfocused the rest of the day, while I'm watching class; I'm still learning new things. Instead of new moves or forms it is new bits of knowledge, wisdom, and advice that I am trying to keep in my brain. Another thing that was surprising about our conversation was that, at one point, he said what we have studied is enough. For 1 Year of learning we have studied enough and now we should be reviewing and/or working on our basics (which includes strength/flexibility training).

As I think back on this, I embarrassingly look at my "Goals Board" in my room which includes a long list of weapons, moves, tricks, and forms that I wanted to know by the end of the year. Maybe it is time to just review what I've learned so that I can prove I can learn more.

Meditation Realizations

Mediation still hasn't been giving me any insights or good feelings for a while now. While brushing my teeth I had a small thought, What if my cluttered/unfocused mind in my daily life is the cause of this mental block during Meditation? Me being so focused on the progress, the action, of this "kung fu life" I have forgotten to stop and smell the roses. If I'm actively "controlling" what is going on in my head then maybe I will slowly get the clarity, focus, and good meditation that I had when I first got here.

Or maybe I'm overthinking it, like I usually do.

Anyway, hope you all are having a good week and I hope you come back to keep reading more about this crazy Kung Fu Journey.


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